8TH GRADE REBEL
8TH GRADE REBEL
8TH GRADE REBEL
Wendy had a party in 8th grade in her family basement at 905 Pine Valley Circle. One kid was really bad (rowdy, disrespectful, trying to break into the booze). Her father kicked him out. He threatened to have his brother come over to beat him up. Told him Pops would be waiting.
THE GYNO'S KID
8TH GRADE REBEL
8TH GRADE REBEL
At 16 some guy came speeding in his new truck to 905 Pine Valley circle. Turned into the family driveway to pick up Wendy (Pops saw him because he was in the garage at the time). G. Diddy got a baseball bat and asked him if he liked his new truck. He said YES. Pops told him he may like his truck but he loves his daughter. And…if he ever saw him drive like that with her in the truck- He would use the baseball bat to crush it. His father was the local gynecologist.
CHEAP...CHEAP...and more CHEAP
CHEAP...CHEAP...and more CHEAP
CHEAP...CHEAP...and more CHEAP
Wendy is notoriously the cheapest human being on earth. Growing up, if her younger brother ever wanted a ride (albeit being INSTRUCTED by her mother to transport him) she would make him scrounge the couch cushions for loose change. One time she made him pay for a whopping $2 in gas with all nickels and pennies.
FUNERALS AND FAMILY
CHEAP...CHEAP...and more CHEAP
CHEAP...CHEAP...and more CHEAP
To say Wendy has some issues with "emotions" towards others is an understatement. Whether it's laughing through an entire family members funeral (NORTHWESTERN), refusing any physical touch (even hugs) with her closest people, or being described as "SHADY" by her cousin don't hold your breath for a kind word of encouragement from Wendizzle.
DROPPING DEUCES
DROPPING DEUCES
DROPPING DEUCES
Unfortunately, Wendy does not have a normal stomach. Countless times per year she is often finding herself running to a bathroom, where she is inevitably faced with the realization that she has Poo'ed her pants. It often comes on the heels of not crapping for days/weeks. It is also almost always at the demise of a fresh pair of underpants.
CALVALCANTE
DROPPING DEUCES
DROPPING DEUCES
This biddy, along with her partner in crime Ellen, SWORE they could do what over 2,000 law enforcement and FBI couldn't, and that is find and capture escaped convict D. Calvalcante. They went on a mission through the Chester County backwoods in search of this dangerous felon who had been on the loose for weeks. Needless to say...all those years of True Crime shows did NOT pay off and he was taken into custody by America's finest.
MANTRA SHE LIVES BY
GROWING UP WITH CRYSTA
GROWING UP WITH CRYSTA
Wendy does NOT live her life by the saying "If you are early, you are on time...If you are on time, you are late...And if you are late. don't bother showing up (although most of the time she would rather NOT show up to things)". This chick is late for EVERYTHING, to the point her family tells her the wrong start times of events just so she arrives at reasonable hours. Her own mantra is: "BETTER LATE THAN UGLY"
GROWING UP WITH CRYSTA
GROWING UP WITH CRYSTA
GROWING UP WITH CRYSTA
When it was just Crysta and Wendy growing up, all was well in Wendy world. Then the perfect angel was born (Mike aka Big Sexy) and she no longer had the full love and attention from her big sister. And why would she? Mike was PERFECT! This caused a riff and the start of Wendy's anger issues.
PURPLE PEOPLE EATERS
PURPLE PEOPLE EATERS
PURPLE PEOPLE EATERS
Who in the world gets ONE Purple Nissan Pulsar, let alone two? THIS CHICK! Wendy had Two Purple Nissans because she could not learn a stick shift. Her Pops drove the stick shift Pulsar for a full year. Not a good look for an Exec.
Wendy was 18 and passed her Mom and Dad coming home from church in her Pulsar. Pops said to Mom- “If you would have told me that Wendy would be accident free after two years, I would have doubted you”. Three days later she had a crash at Five Points and Maule Lane.
5 INGREDIENTS
PURPLE PEOPLE EATERS
PURPLE PEOPLE EATERS
Because of the jealousy she faced towards her younger, smarter, better looking little brother she often took measures to mess with him as punishment. Whether it be teaming up with Zac to dump an entire box of chocolate laxatives into his milkshake, or make him waddle down Pine Valley Circle with his pants down for losing at mini golf, Wendy has a knack for EVIL. One game her and Zac invented was intended to make the other person puke. You could pick any five ingredients out of the fridge, mix them together, and the other person had to consume the concoction. Needless to say, Wendy always tried to con Mike into going first.
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